early November 2016

You know I always believed in karma but there are times where you just get a reminder that it is there to hurt you if you mess up.

Summer 2016 someone I think now was in love or a better word for it is head over heels, as when you say in love it is rational but being head over heels, is just when it consumes you. There is no control anymore. I rejected them in what I tried to be the best way possible, but as a friend said at that time, I made them stay for longer than necessary because I wasn’t ready for them to leave, I enjoyed/ needed their company, their friendship, for whatever was the reason, I kept them In a close range. Now I am in their shoes, I am not in love, I am just obsessed with discovering this person’s inside outs. I want to get to know them, along the way at some point the bubble will burst, however them being secretive doesn’t help and is just making the whole processes a lot longer.

It’s annoying how I waste my time thinking about them, waiting for that post on social media, or a message or a call, yet at the end of it, it’s never how I hoped it would be. Will that stop me, nope.

Writing this it made me realise that it’s not even about being head over heels for them, yes there are feelings and I know that because seeing their smile, makes me smile and small things like that, but I want them to have feelings towards me, I want to hear them say “I love you” and try to do them little things to show they care about me, I want them to send that morning text etc.

I don’t know what’s next, one can never know but I will see how it goes like always.

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